Last night I went to the Darlene/ Hillsong Concert in Beijing.  It was SO awesome!  I've had the priviledge of attending an international fellowship this year, and while the worship is good, I guess I still prefer the NZ/Aussie worship style over the American one.  (Regardless of style they both lift up Dad, so when it comes down to it, it really doesnt matter what style you use.) 

 

Anyway, it just reminded me of how much I love worship.  And being in a position to lead worship and worshippers.  It is such an amazing priviledge and I find it so incredible that for so many years in NZ Dad held the door wide open for me in this area.  Although I haven't lead worship or even sung on a worship team this year, I've come to realise that this hasn't really changed things between me and the big guy.  Infact it has cemented more in my heart how much my singing is firstly a song just to Him. 

 

Something else that has been a cool revelation of late is also about my life calling.  Its always been a struggle for me, measuring myself against people who seem to know exactly what they want to do, which career or life calling they have...while I kinda stand by and feel a little lost.  My heart has so many passions, so many things that I love to do, desire to do and feel called to.  Music, global service, youth discipleship, speaking and teaching the word, and one day being a mum and a wife really are just the tip of the iceberg.  I also realised afresh that everything has its time and season.  It takes courage to pursue these things; maturity to know when its the right time for each; and humility to know when its time to move on.  I will certainly spend a life time learning these lessons, and I'm sure I will learn many of them the hard way...through trial and failure! 

 

No matter what, as long as somehow (through His strength) I can continue to put my heavenly Father at the forefront, I know that my life will continue to have a purpose, that my life will count for somethin bigger than me.  In the end, loving Him is all really I want to do.

So I did spell Bei Hai Park wrong yesterday.  But I wasnt wrong about all my excitement.  We had a fantastic day!  And my girl were incredibly sweet.  On Saturday they went to the park to scope it out.  And one of them did research on the different things there and had cool stuff to say about the different places.

 

Enjoy the pics!

Hey hey hey.   Its been another week...and my calander is telling me that I have only 1 month left here in China.  EEEEK.  Thats scary.

 

Now for some intelligent writing.  Um...

 

Sitting here its actually hard to remember what I exactly did this week.  Last weekend I went and saw Spiderman 3.  One of Joell's students came and we had a bit of fun with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cutouts.  There are even photos of the fun.  I may even add them on this post.  Hehe.

 

The rest of the days seem pretty normal to me, but I'm not the best judge of normal, since I live in China and all.  We went out on Tuesday night for Ama's birthday...it was FUN!  Some of my teammates found this little pizza place that actually makes western style pizza, and even though it had rained all day and for the first time in China my hair went curly from the humidity, we had an awesome evening.

 

This week I gave my student a differnt kind of assignment.  They have to come up with a kids radio program.  And instead of teaching them in the classroom every day, they have to come to my office on scheduled days and we kinda do a sort of a tutorial kind of thing.  I told them that they are not kids, and honestly I've taught them a lot this year, and its time they had a chance to put it all to practise.  Radio is not easy.  People can't see your face, they can only hear your voice.  So you've got to pronunciate and you a lot of expression!  I wont hear the final product till next Friday, but the feedback has been very positive.  Now I just need to follow up this week with something better...!

 

Tomorrow I am getting up far to early for a Sunday morning(like 6am) and meeting some students at 9am in Wangfujing.  We are gonna go to a place called Bai Hi Park.  I dont think thats spelt right.  But I'm really excited to be hanging out with them!

 

Well thats all folks!

If Ugly Betty has taught me one thing this week, its honesty.  And honestly, I've had trouble being honest this year.

 

It all started with the warning...'don't be too negative in what you blog about or tell people at home'.  Unfortunatly I may have taken this a little to far.  Most of the time I have meant that to mean, 'don't let on that your not doing fine and that things are less than a field of flowers'.

 

Life rarely is a field of flowers.  Most of the time its more like roses.  Roses that only bloom in season, roses that have thorns.  And even when roses are blooming they need to be trimmed quite viciously if you ever want them to truely look good.

 

I have felt a lot like that this year.  Most of the time, I feel like a bit of a failure.  I honestly didnt come to China thinking I could change the world, but you do hope for change to happen in even just a small corner of it.  And as much as I'm sure things may have changed, I struggle with the fact that because I dont nessecarily see change the way I want it, nothing has truely changed.

 

Not coming back also makes me feel a bit like a failure.  Like I couldn't hack it in China and now I need to come crawling back home.  Home where things aren't quite as familiar as they once were, home where there are no hairdressers on the streets, not enough minature dogs, and very few babies with spilt pants.  Home where I dont know the person who sells me carrots and onions, home where there is no dumpling guy who still talks to me in Chinese even when I have no idea what I'm saying, and home without my gypse taxi driver still refuses to take my money (saying: "ni shi pung you.  Your my friend!" over and over pushing the money back at me).

 

Its funny, as much as I maybe know the truth about how Dad has used me this year, SO often I end up accepting the lie rather than embracing the truth.  I guess also its hard admitting that I have fallen short.  There may have been many opportunities I have missed this year.  Many students who would have liked to spend more time with me, but I was too tired or too busy dealing with my own issues to reach out.  And its true, in life we will always fall short.  Its what we are good at, its what the 'humanness' in me tends to do.

 

So thats my honest post for today.  I guess all this from above has been one of the reasons why I've found it so hard to regularly post about life.  I have wrongly assumed that people simply cant understand this life I'm living, forgetting that if I dont tell anyone, how on earth are they meant to find out?!

 

Ahhh, LIFE.  Praises upwards for the days and the hours.  Without you, my lover, my friend, I dont know how I would have got this far...

...but my mum commented that I haven't updated my blog recently.  So I really should update it.

 

Lalalala LIFE is good.

 

Lots of things on my mind these days:

We're back from travelling - and lots of pics to prove it!  We left from here on the 2nd at 4am - yawn - and arrived in Guilin around midday.  Guilin was pretty hot, but not as bad as Cambodia.  We spent a lot on tours but it was worth it.  We had a private guide for the first afternoon and then went on a boat along the Li River the next day.  It was loads of fun, just hanging with Mum and Age.

 

One thing that was funny for me was that I really felt like Beijingren - being in Guilin.  Maybe the best way to explain it would be that I'm an Auckland girl - and when I visit Hamilton, I feel a little different from the Hamiltonians.  Thats how I felt in Guilin.  Wierd huh.  Whenever I think of leaving China - my heart is pretty sad - this place, these people are grown on me.  I've even noticed how much I accept all the things I thought were so different from NZ.  Many of the things Mum and Age ask about or spend time looking at, I walk past because its nothing different for me. 

 

Shanghai was cool!!  Check out all the new albums - especially the China signs one - it should give you a bit of a laugh!

Mum and Age are here!  They arrived on Friday, while I was stuck in traffic in a taxi.  But the driver was very nice and he parked and helped me find them and carried the bags, so that was nice!  I've been keeping them busy, Saturday they came to school to meet my students, and I had them come to my classes and let the students ask questions for the whole time.  Yesterday was fellowship and we had Italian for lunch (at another branch of Annies) and then went to Yashow clothing market while Alex got fitted for a suit.  Age and I bargained for some fans and I was surprised at how much more Chinese I have learnt since I went shopping last.  That was really tested out again today because we went to the Silk Market and Mum and Age got gifts for everyone at home.  First stop was Stephanie's pearls - and luckily we are friends of friends so no real bargaining need be done there - good prices all round.

 

Here are the photo's.