I thought I would share with you four things I've done this week...

- When I am still waking up in the morning I seem to occationally go to put my washing in the rubbish bin in the kitchen, instead of the laundry shoot that leads to the laundry.  This week I've done it 4 our of 5 mornings.

- The other morning I found myself putting shampoo on my washcloth.

- Yesterday at work I was making the coffee's for the office staff and I got the milk out of the fridge and started to pour it into the rubbish bin. 

- This morning I went to Onehunga Mall (which is a street in Onehunga) to do the banking.  On the way back to my car I must have been in a dream because I walked past it for a full 30seconds before I realised I'd passed my car.

Don't ask my why, maybe its stress or just dipsyness, but I've certainly had a week of funny moments!

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of house sitting (and dog sitting) for good friends of mine.  They headed off to the snow, and I snuggled down in their lovely house and spent the weekend playing with their little dogs and watching some of their movies.  I watched a movie about the life of CS Lewis, and it raised a really good question I wanted to address.

 

CS Lewis, known to most as the author of the Chronicals of Narnia, also wrote quite a few books dealing with philosophy and theology.  One of his books is called "The Problem of Pain" and in the movie (based on his life as I was lead to believe) it showed a part of his life that was a practical outliving of his writing. 

 

There is no simple way of addressing all that CS Lewis wrote on this topic, and I have not even read "The Problem of Pain", so I am by no means qualified to talk on the subject.  But there was a line in the move that really stood out to me and it has left me thinking several days later.

 

Three years into his marriage (at a late stage in his life) he lost his wife to cancer.  They both knew the day would come (he married her while she was in hospital with advanced bone cancer), and at the height of their happiness as a relitvely healthy newly-wed couple his wife said this (I'm quoting the movie (from memory) of course but try and catch the essence of this...) "Happiness and pain come together, you can't experience one without knowing the other." 

 

I took my little story and quote to homegroup on Monday, and got the two answers I was expecting.  "We can know happiness without pain",  and "we only know real happiness when we have something to compare it to, like deep pain."

 

Interesting.  But I wanted more. 

 

I dont want pain out of life and I certainly dont live through painful moments holding onto the hope that it will make the happy times seem happier.  In fact in those really low painful, "where is the heavenly Father" times, the last thing I think of is that the happy times will somehow feel better.  My pain at that moment is real, its cutting deep, it feels like I'm falling into an abyss and the terror of that moment is never going to end.

 

But what then do I say in the moments of elation that life does sometimes bring along?  "Thankyou for the pain so that these moments (rare as they are) feel better because I got dragged through the mud for so long?"

 

Maybe.  Although most wouldn't be happy with that conclusion, and I have to admit, I'm not completely sold on that arguement either.

 

As I drove home from work today, mulling over these ides (and listening to Clay Aitken, absently mindedly singing along - I'm no great phylosophical person!) I came to this temporary conclusion... faith is what gets me through.  Faith in a Heavenly Father who knowing that we are living in a sinful world, that we are sinners, and that I am an undeserving scum that he somehow found fit to redeem, has somehow made a way that something good will come through my pain.   I have to have faith, because I know there are many moments of pain in my life that are unanswered for, moments that dont seem to have worked into a bigger picture and been of any profit.

 

In the end I have to let go and trust that HE will have his way.  I know its a big call, but thats where it is for me.

 

Check out these websites for info on CS Lewis' books on this subject...

 

 

(There are tonnes more, I just googled the titles and skim read these.)

 

Last night I become an English teacher for a night!  At my fellowship on Friday nights a group of Chinese get together to fellowship, share a devotion and worship, and then go to an English class for an hour.  One of the ladies who teachers the advanced class was sick and I got called in to help out.

 

I have to admit at first I was wishing I hadnt said that I wouldn't do it.  My family was meant to be going to the movies together and I was looking forward to it.  But I was pleasantly surprised by what happened. 

 

When I arrived I started talking to some ladies, using a little Chinese and soon we were laughing and talking in broken English and Chinese, having a great time!  We went upstairs and drank Chinese tea, and suddenly it was almost like I was in China again...one white girl in a room of Chinese!!  After some singing and a devotion we spilt off to our classes.  There were four students in my class... all older than me - in their 20s and 30s.  But they were fantastic and we had a lot of fun.  I hope my lesson wasnt too simple, but they were excellent students, asking questions, asking about new words and always answering my questions!

 

On reflection, I guess the evening surprised me.  I miss China, I miss Chinese people.  I realised that when I teach I come alive, I'm aminated and excited about everything.  And teaching last night came so easy - I guess that's what happens after teaching full time for a year!!

 

As I embark on my new job in Taupo, I am excited about the new opportunities that are presented to me.  One day the father may again say this it is time to go back to China or to teach English.  My comfort in all things comes from His words; 'to everything there is a time and a season'.